I'm a drunk lady

Okay Ladies

I got very drunk last night and apparently there are some "embarrassing" pictures going around. Firstly I just want to say that any publicity is good publicity as far as I'm concerned because as you know I'm a singer/actress/dancer/slut. I feel that if you're going to get drunk you should really make the most of it. Hopefully some rich guy will take "advantage" of you while you're sluttier than normal.

Here is a funny pic the boys have been posting on their FB pages, I let them think one of them drew the word fun on me, but I actually drew it on before I went out that night. I was hoping for some action but alas, men these days are too considerate to take advantage of a drunk woman.
When I was a young lady and attending catholic girl school my teachers taught me that drunk women get more men. Obvious the silly bitches didnt know what they were talking about because I only got fingered once and that was because I pretended to accidentally roll onto some guys hand as a bit of a hint.

I got a bit desperate later on and tried to lez it up with one of my girlfriends but she was too drunk and fell asleep.

I thought that maybe the guys would get excited and do us both but all they did was take pictures. Take note ladies. Taking your top off and lezzing it up isnt enough to get men to take advantage of you. Now I have proof!!! At least the guys said I was entertaining. I should charge next time. Or at least ask them to let me blow them. Hmpf

Okay ladies, I have another party to go to tonight. I'm thinking I'm just going to turn up naked with bag of condoms. If that doesnt get me laid I dont know what will.

Girl Talk - Being a lesbian turns men on.

Dont be afraid to slut it up

Hi girls

My new topic for today is picking up men. As we all know it's hard to pick up men unless you are rake thin and if you aren't naturally attractive you have to paste it on thick. Men love too much makeup, it hides the fact that you are probably NOT their type. Okay here we go.

Tip 1: Lots of lipstick. Lipstick is great and men love to see it smeared all over their (You know what) tehehe and who doesnt love giving men what they want. I know I do. My night isn't complete unless I feel wanted my a man,sexually. Because ultimately isn't that what being a women is all about? :-)

I think this sums it up well what men expect when it comes to lipstick.

Tip 2: LOTS!!! of clevage

Okay ladies, this is important. Men need to know what's on offer. It's like a used car salesman not letting you drive the car and expecting you to want to buy it. Therefore, show as much as you can without looking like a 2 dollar hooker, heheh. Personally I dont suck for less than 3 dollar, but hey, I'm worth it. Anyway here is what men expect and you all know that upsetting men is a carnal sin.

Okay, I think this lady has it just about spot on. You can never show too much. And if you have rollup's, dont worry, men aren't picky.

Tip 3: Get him drunk

Okay, I think we have all been there. It's late and all the good men have been taken and you're standing around looking like dogshit drying in the sun! No one wants to be in this situation. Therefore pick the closest guy to you and if you dont have date rape drugs handy, just ply him with as much alcohol as you can, without getting him so drunk that his little man wont work when you get him home. Embarrassment!!!! Been there done that.

If he tries to kick you in the face while pissed off his head, dont stress, it means he loves you.

Okay ladies, this is me, signing off.

Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Girl Talk - One man is never enough!!!!