I fell in love with an ugly bastard

Okay ladies

I have a sad story to share with you. I want everyone to send me some encouraging words because I'm in a dark place right now. As you know I spoke about a very sexy man in my previous posts and I thought I'd track him down and see if he was interested in me. I'm crying right now, the keyboard is wet.

I've been communicating with who I thought was the man pictured above for months. I poured my heart out to him, sent explicit picture's, and did some naughty things for him on cam.
After a while I started to feel that maybe this person wasn't actually the sexy man in the photo that I had fallen in love with. He never wanted to meet in person or go on cam.
After pressing him, I finally receive a photo of who I'd been talking to over the last few months.

Can you believe this!!!! I was shell shocked. The guy wasn't even rich. That's what hurt the most. I thought at least he'd be a sexy, rich, computer nerd. Instead it was this guy (pictured above). He hadn't had a job for years and wanted to feel better about himself by pretending to be someone he wasn't. I cried for days over the loss of my tanned bejewelled foreign looking lover.

Girl Talk - I'm sad, someone rich save me :'(

IMPORTANT UPDATE!!!!

Okay I just receive some new and shocking news. It turns out fat bastard was actually a lesbian in disguise. I mean, there is nothing wrong with having some fun with a lesbian, once in a while but I prefer the hard cock of a REAL man!!.
Turns out the person I had fallen in love with was actually this person (pictured below).

No wonder she was pretending to be a guy. What a weirdo. And to add insult to injury she wanted to hook up with me and bring her girlfriends along. After I found out she wasn't rich or powerful I said no. And thank god I did. You wouldn't believe who her girlfriends were.

Apparently they like to make love in these exact outfits. Not that there is anything wrong with kinky outfits but this is taking it too far.

Okay, this heart broken blogger is signing out for now. Keep sending me encouraging emails, it's keeping my spirits up.

Girl Talk - Glad to not be as fat as forklift girl

How to pick up girls

Hi to all my male readers

I'm going to be writing about an all important subject. How to pick up women. Here are some fail safe tips on picking up women.

Being rich helps

Girls will spread for a rich guy almost 100% of the time, no matter how ugly you are. It's obvious this chick (below) is only interested in one thing. MONEY!!!

Fat chicks - purchase forklift

If you wanna pick up a fat chick. Bringing your own forklift will get you a date pretty much every time. Women like to feel their needs are being looked after and this is a perfect example of going that extra mile to score a date.

You're the only one for me

 Women love mushy talk. Here are some more examples that will help you get ahead of the pack

• Your hair looks sexy
• Your tits look nice
• Can I hump your leg
• I like ear sex
• I wanna throw flour on your fat roll and fuck it
• Can I lick your face
• Fuck me now I'm desperate
• When I masturbate I think of you, mostly!!
• I will trade sex for food
• I wanna have a 3 way with you and your ugly sister

Dressing for the occasion

It's important to dress well. Women like to feel that their prospective mate is well groomed because they want to know their children will be successful like their father.

Check out how sexy this guy looks. I would let him do me in front of the supermarket.

Keeping in shape

Women like men who look after their bodies. I say the more the merrier.

Ohh baby. I would let this guy jizz on my face.

Okay men. I think that's enough advice. You should be able to go pick up all the ladies you want now.

Girl Talk - More money means cock size is less important

I'm a drunk lady

Okay Ladies

I got very drunk last night and apparently there are some "embarrassing" pictures going around. Firstly I just want to say that any publicity is good publicity as far as I'm concerned because as you know I'm a singer/actress/dancer/slut. I feel that if you're going to get drunk you should really make the most of it. Hopefully some rich guy will take "advantage" of you while you're sluttier than normal.

Here is a funny pic the boys have been posting on their FB pages, I let them think one of them drew the word fun on me, but I actually drew it on before I went out that night. I was hoping for some action but alas, men these days are too considerate to take advantage of a drunk woman.
When I was a young lady and attending catholic girl school my teachers taught me that drunk women get more men. Obvious the silly bitches didnt know what they were talking about because I only got fingered once and that was because I pretended to accidentally roll onto some guys hand as a bit of a hint.

I got a bit desperate later on and tried to lez it up with one of my girlfriends but she was too drunk and fell asleep.

I thought that maybe the guys would get excited and do us both but all they did was take pictures. Take note ladies. Taking your top off and lezzing it up isnt enough to get men to take advantage of you. Now I have proof!!! At least the guys said I was entertaining. I should charge next time. Or at least ask them to let me blow them. Hmpf

Okay ladies, I have another party to go to tonight. I'm thinking I'm just going to turn up naked with bag of condoms. If that doesnt get me laid I dont know what will.

Girl Talk - Being a lesbian turns men on.