I fell in love with an ugly bastard

Okay ladies

I have a sad story to share with you. I want everyone to send me some encouraging words because I'm in a dark place right now. As you know I spoke about a very sexy man in my previous posts and I thought I'd track him down and see if he was interested in me. I'm crying right now, the keyboard is wet.

I've been communicating with who I thought was the man pictured above for months. I poured my heart out to him, sent explicit picture's, and did some naughty things for him on cam.
After a while I started to feel that maybe this person wasn't actually the sexy man in the photo that I had fallen in love with. He never wanted to meet in person or go on cam.
After pressing him, I finally receive a photo of who I'd been talking to over the last few months.

Can you believe this!!!! I was shell shocked. The guy wasn't even rich. That's what hurt the most. I thought at least he'd be a sexy, rich, computer nerd. Instead it was this guy (pictured above). He hadn't had a job for years and wanted to feel better about himself by pretending to be someone he wasn't. I cried for days over the loss of my tanned bejewelled foreign looking lover.

Girl Talk - I'm sad, someone rich save me :'(

IMPORTANT UPDATE!!!!

Okay I just receive some new and shocking news. It turns out fat bastard was actually a lesbian in disguise. I mean, there is nothing wrong with having some fun with a lesbian, once in a while but I prefer the hard cock of a REAL man!!.
Turns out the person I had fallen in love with was actually this person (pictured below).

No wonder she was pretending to be a guy. What a weirdo. And to add insult to injury she wanted to hook up with me and bring her girlfriends along. After I found out she wasn't rich or powerful I said no. And thank god I did. You wouldn't believe who her girlfriends were.

Apparently they like to make love in these exact outfits. Not that there is anything wrong with kinky outfits but this is taking it too far.

Okay, this heart broken blogger is signing out for now. Keep sending me encouraging emails, it's keeping my spirits up.

Girl Talk - Glad to not be as fat as forklift girl

How to pick up girls

Hi to all my male readers

I'm going to be writing about an all important subject. How to pick up women. Here are some fail safe tips on picking up women.

Being rich helps

Girls will spread for a rich guy almost 100% of the time, no matter how ugly you are. It's obvious this chick (below) is only interested in one thing. MONEY!!!

Fat chicks - purchase forklift

If you wanna pick up a fat chick. Bringing your own forklift will get you a date pretty much every time. Women like to feel their needs are being looked after and this is a perfect example of going that extra mile to score a date.

You're the only one for me

 Women love mushy talk. Here are some more examples that will help you get ahead of the pack

• Your hair looks sexy
• Your tits look nice
• Can I hump your leg
• I like ear sex
• I wanna throw flour on your fat roll and fuck it
• Can I lick your face
• Fuck me now I'm desperate
• When I masturbate I think of you, mostly!!
• I will trade sex for food
• I wanna have a 3 way with you and your ugly sister

Dressing for the occasion

It's important to dress well. Women like to feel that their prospective mate is well groomed because they want to know their children will be successful like their father.

Check out how sexy this guy looks. I would let him do me in front of the supermarket.

Keeping in shape

Women like men who look after their bodies. I say the more the merrier.

Ohh baby. I would let this guy jizz on my face.

Okay men. I think that's enough advice. You should be able to go pick up all the ladies you want now.

Girl Talk - More money means cock size is less important

I wanna be a cougar too, when i grow up!!!

I stumbled upon an inspiring woman on the internet and I decided than when I get old and ugly I wanna be just like her. There are some important things to remember if you want to pull off a true cougar look. Let's examine them all in detail.

1 - The look

This says everything you need your potential prey to know. It says, I am hot, horny, ready, and tonight you are going to be all mine young lover. Cougar's need to focus on what's important, Getting sex!!!, because let's face it, they aren't getting any younger ;-).  You can see that this lady is 100% focussed on her goal.

2 - What's on offer

Basically everything is on offer. Men want to know that if they are going to hook up with an older lady that they will be treated to the full service.

Leave nothing to chance. Men get picky when you are older and if you can get an edge over your rivals then you should! Leave nothing to chance.

3 - Outfits are important

When you dont have much on offer. Having a large range of sexy outfits can be the difference between taking your friends sexy son home or not.

Some men like to be spanked when you get them home. Obviously this lady is ready for anything. Sitting on your man's face just doesnt cut it anymore. Work it ladies.

4 - Outdoor sex

What's more thrilling than sex in the great outdoors? And let's face in ladies. If they want it outside. You must give them what they want, right?

Notice this lady in employing the first 3 strategies. GRRRRR

Okay ladies. Tune in here for more great advice from your favorite blogger.

Girl Talk - Outdoor sex is fun

How to stalk men properly

Okay ladies

I have been thinking about this topic for a long time and given the amount of personal experience I have on this particular subject I thought I should share my wealth of knowledge.

Tip 1 - No means Yes

Often men don't really know what they want so you have to convince them that what you want is what they want. Sometimes it takes a bit of persuasion to bring them around. I often dress up all sexy like so they can't say no.

Who could say no to that? Right girls. And if this fails bring your brother along. Men feel more comfortable if the brother (see below) approves of his sisters choice.

Tip 2 - Steal his undies

Men will often get excited if you steal their undies. They like to feel wanted and this is the best way to achieve your goal. But what to do with all the undies? File and categorise them of course.

I always remove the labels in case the police come. This way they cant prove who previously own the undies. It's funny how all the men i stalk love batman. Boy will be boys :-) haha

Tip 3 - Make yourself prettier than his girlfriend

Looking good goes without saying ladies. My advice is make your hair look great and always use too much makeup.

This is the face I use to lure them in. It's the blue steel of stalking. Men like dominant women, it turns them on.

Tip 5 - Know the enemy

Okay I think this is the most important. All the men I stalk always seem to have a girlfriend, and let me tell you now ladies, she's never going to be as pretty as you.

I like to draw pictures of them and then burn the pictures after. I want them to feel the pain I feel. :'(

Okay, that seems like enough to go on

Good luck with your stalking ladies and post comments on any success stories.

Girl Stalk - Stalking one is never enough.

My grandma's a predator

We all have them and you know who im talking about. I'm talking about aunties who refuse to grow old gracefully and in some cases it might even be a grandma like the one I have.

Check out this picture of my grandma, if anything says "Take me, I'm your's for a glass of vodka and a lift home", this picture does. She's a complete predator. I brought home 3 guys one night and went to have a shower and pretty up, by the time I got back she was banging all of them. I couldn't believe it.

And if you thought my grandma was bad check out my mom.

How can I compete with that!! I just want her to take a break from stealing my boyfriends. I once told police she was responsible for 10 local murders and paid off some credible witness' with blowjobs just so I could her off the scene for long enough to get some guy to get me pregnant!! OMG The thing's a lady has to do these days to score a man is incredible.

Lucky for me I have myself a lovely guy who's not attracted to my mum or grandma.

Yours always

Girl Talk - One drink and I'm anyones!!

Tehehe

Hi there ladies

I have no idea what to write but seriouly I stubbed my toe on my pillow and I think I'm going to have to go to hospital OUCH!!! Some hunky guy SAVE me!!!! Hahaha

This is a picture of me. How ugly do I look!! I think I need to lose weight. One sec... Okay I just lost my lunch, I feel thinner already. :-)

If anyone wants girl advice I'm like the worlds best listener.

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Girl Talk